There are many sociological situations that has made me who I am today.
Thinking of myself as Alice in Wonderland is an understatement – only if you consider me as a soulful poet. Many people write rhymes, write R&B, even write third grade poems just to simplify their unconscious and complicated lives.
But now that I`m in my element- I can take you very far back from when I started writing. Period.
It`s always sunny out here, my legal guardian is somewhere in the kitchen or the back of the 6,000 square foot house while I sit in the hot patio at the glass table with a mountain full of books. All of the swimming appliances are stashed the far right corners of the patio while my sister and ” play cousins” play in the pool paying no attention to me all alone. Eight years old with no parents, no grandparents ( they passed away) with only the company of Mark Twain and Charles Dickens. Her name is Lillian, my guardian whom took my sister and I into custody after a long hard battle with California state and my biological mother sitting in prison for God knows how long. There`s a thick brown belt-that belonged to my grandfather- lying on the seat adjacent from me-waiting for me to write the wrong answers in my study booklets of pre-algebra.
Every now and then I`d suffer long and hard licks of the belt by my guardian who believed in her mind that she wanted to set me up for success and thought I was too dumb and stubborn to listen. Underneath all the pain and dirty papers due to erasing constantly to find more answers- somehow my child brain relished in the company of literature to solve angst- I wrote songs and hid them in the books that I was finished ” studying” with. Hours turned into missing meals just to comfort the solace of Lillian`s power ego over me. Sometimes she would let me eat if I got a few answers right- sometimes she would even let me watch a movie with my sister for a little break from studying.
Sometimes this little girl just wanted to go swim in the pool….. and just stay there forever.